http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/-t1.htm Stories, jokes and fun! Kick back and enjoy the lighter side of OPM! Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:56:20 GMT 10 http://i62.servimg.com/u/f62/12/62/27/89/110.gif http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/-t1.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/vrystaatse-boer-t21006.htm Annalene Die vliegtuig was op pad na die OR Tambo lughawe toe dit in 'n geweldige storm invlieg. Dinge word al rowwer, en een van die vlerke word deur weerlig getref. Een van die vroue op die vlug haak heeltemal uit. Sy gaan staan voor in die gang en skree: "Ek is te jonk om te sterf! Maar ek het een laaste wens as dit dan moet: Is hier enigeen op die vlug wat my vir oulaas soos 'n VROU kan laat voel?" Stilte. Almal kyk na haar. Toe staan 'n Vrystaatse boer agter in die vliegtuig ... The Play Room Fri, 27 Aug 2010 12:38:58 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/vrystaatse-boer-t21006.htm#249276 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/vrystaatse-boer-t21006.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/two-ladies-talking-in-heaven-t20896.htm Sheena 1st woman: Hi! Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn't so bad.... After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching ... The Play Room Tue, 24 Aug 2010 07:35:35 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/two-ladies-talking-in-heaven-t20896.htm#247964 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/two-ladies-talking-in-heaven-t20896.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/cyanide-and-happiness-t21069.htm Sheena ]]> The Play Room Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:56:20 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/cyanide-and-happiness-t21069.htm#249844 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/cyanide-and-happiness-t21069.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/mental-hospital-phone-menu-t21001.htm Annalene MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If ... The Play Room Fri, 27 Aug 2010 11:16:07 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/mental-hospital-phone-menu-t21001.htm#249228 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/mental-hospital-phone-menu-t21001.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/skoolwerk-t20863.htm KP Kallie & Mike se oudste spruite het pas gehoor hulle gaan graad 3 toe. Mike:" Ek is so trots op daai laaitie. Gisteraand vra ek hom om vir my 'n sin te maak met "bysin" en "gesegde". Soos blits sę hy toe:" Ons was ons gesegde in die bysin." Kallie: "Dis niks, Klein Kallie is in 'n Ingelse klas en laas nag het hy my sy tuiswerk-boek gewys. Sentences." Mike: "Nč?" Kallie: " Hy moes 'n sin maak met ... The Play Room Mon, 23 Aug 2010 07:00:52 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/skoolwerk-t20863.htm#247599 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/skoolwerk-t20863.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/animal-s-revenge-t20613.htm Sheena

]]> The Play Room Thu, 12 Aug 2010 12:33:35 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/animal-s-revenge-t20613.htm#244162 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/animal-s-revenge-t20613.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/vending-machine-t20486.htm Bane A Man and his wife are in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child. The wife jumps up and says: " Your Honour, I brought the child into the world with pain and labour. She should be in my custody" . The judge turns to the husband and says " What do you have to say in your defence?" The man sat for a while contemplating. Then slowly rose. " Your Honour, if I put a Rand in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, whose Coke ... The Play Room Fri, 06 Aug 2010 12:17:28 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/vending-machine-t20486.htm#242301 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/vending-machine-t20486.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/you-got-it-wrong-sista-t20203.htm Sheena Bongi was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurt; she had never had a boyfriend. So she went to a psychic for help. Honey! - said the psychic. You will not have luck in love in this life. But after death, you will be a much desired woman and all men will fall at your feet. Bongi left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she thought: "the sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins" She decided to jump off the bridge right away. But, incredibly Bongi didn't die! She ... The Play Room Wed, 28 Jul 2010 09:42:25 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/you-got-it-wrong-sista-t20203.htm#238560 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/you-got-it-wrong-sista-t20203.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/why-god-made-mums-t20179.htm Sheryl WHY GOD MADE MUMS > Answers given by 2nd year school children to the following questions: > Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the selotape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my mum just the same like he made me. He just used ... The Play Room Tue, 27 Jul 2010 12:27:40 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/why-god-made-mums-t20179.htm#238220 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/why-god-made-mums-t20179.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/stop-crying-t19729.htm Bane A super elegant and beautiful woman came out from a bar with a high level of alcohol in her system.While walking towards her expensive Mercedes Benz, she tried to open it with the keys, but was unable due to her drunken condition, she dropped flat on the ground next to the car door.Legs opened and with no panties on, she looked down and the only thing she saw was her v%g*na and started talking to it. Because of you I have a car Because of you I have jewelry Because of you I have money ... The Play Room Tue, 13 Jul 2010 06:23:47 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/stop-crying-t19729.htm#231844 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/stop-crying-t19729.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/only-the-dutch-t19777.htm Sheena
A Netherland supporter and his wife got thrown out of the pub yesterday…
He got thrown out for blowing his Vuvuzela ...
She got thrown out for blowing a Zulu fella...]]> The Play Room Wed, 14 Jul 2010 08:39:11 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/only-the-dutch-t19777.htm#232520 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/only-the-dutch-t19777.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/typicall-man-t19221.htm Tammy A man goes to his physician and is shocked to find that he has been replaced by a super-computer. The computer asks him his ailments and the man says he has a sore elbow. A drawer pops out and he is asked to urinate in it. After a few bleeps and flashing lights the computer decides he has tennis elbow. The man is annoyed and decides to get one over on this machine so he asks his wife for a urine sample. He then mixes this with urine from his dog and his small son and to top it off, adds ... The Play Room Sun, 27 Jun 2010 18:45:55 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/typicall-man-t19221.htm#224408 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/typicall-man-t19221.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/great-advice-to-pass-on-to-your-daughters-t19367.htm AmyJill Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. 6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell ... The Play Room Wed, 30 Jun 2010 20:53:32 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/great-advice-to-pass-on-to-your-daughters-t19367.htm#226540 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/great-advice-to-pass-on-to-your-daughters-t19367.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/sabbath-t19146.htm KP A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting with his superiors, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on the Sabbath." The man thinks, "What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in ... The Play Room Thu, 24 Jun 2010 07:14:01 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/sabbath-t19146.htm#223196 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/sabbath-t19146.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/dis-skuldige-een-t18959.htm KP Een dag raak die vagina los en besluit om in die liggaam te gaan rondstap. Eers loop sy die blaas raak en vra: "Wie is jy?" En die blaas antwoord: "Ek is die blaas." Verder aan loop sy die niere raak en se: "Julle lyk soos 'n tweeling! Wie is julle?" En die niere antwoord: "Ons is die niere." So stap die vagina rond en kom af op die derms, lewer, pankreas, longe, maag, ens. Sy bly stap en kom af op die hart. "Wie is jy?" ... The Play Room Fri, 18 Jun 2010 09:02:17 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/dis-skuldige-een-t18959.htm#220615 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/dis-skuldige-een-t18959.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/the-prisoner-t17922.htm kajol A couple just got married and the bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about s*x. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place the 'prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison. And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride ... The Play Room Thu, 13 May 2010 13:47:48 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/the-prisoner-t17922.htm#206272 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/the-prisoner-t17922.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/the-glass-eye-t17278.htm Danni A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says. They enjoy ... The Play Room Wed, 21 Apr 2010 11:46:42 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/the-glass-eye-t17278.htm#197046 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/the-glass-eye-t17278.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/self-appraisal-t16560.htm Ilze A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers). The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: Boy: " Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): " I already have someone to cut my lawn." Boy: " Lady, I will cut your ... The Play Room Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:56:53 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/self-appraisal-t16560.htm#188526 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/self-appraisal-t16560.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/unplanned-pregnancy-t16959.htm TarrynT An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed ... The Play Room Thu, 08 Apr 2010 13:22:59 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/unplanned-pregnancy-t16959.htm#192756 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/unplanned-pregnancy-t16959.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/i-lost-the-local-pub-trivia-quiz-last-night-t17303.htm Ams
I lost the local pub TRIVIA quiz last night, by 1 point!


The last question was 'Where do most women have curly hair?'


Apparently the correct answer is ' Africa '.]]> The Play Room Thu, 22 Apr 2010 08:34:20 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/i-lost-the-local-pub-trivia-quiz-last-night-t17303.htm#197502 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/i-lost-the-local-pub-trivia-quiz-last-night-t17303.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/sexual-advise-t16559.htm Ilze A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea. ''Do you enjoy it?'' The doctor asked. ''Actually, yes, I do. ''''Does it hurt you?'' he asked. ''No. I rather like it.'' ''Well, then,'' the doctor continued, ''there''s no reason that you shouldn''t practice anal sex, if that''s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.'' The woman was mystified. ''What? You can ... The Play Room Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:54:30 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/sexual-advise-t16559.htm#188525 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/sexual-advise-t16559.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/laugh-it-off-t17031.htm V is gone Q: Why men walk more And women talk more? A: Coz men have three legs And women have four lips! The Play Room Mon, 12 Apr 2010 07:49:46 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/laugh-it-off-t17031.htm#193571 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/laugh-it-off-t17031.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/tough-love-vs-spanking-t16626.htm Sheena Most people nowadays think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my children when they have one of 'those moments.' One that I have found very effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride during which I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect on his or her behaviour. I don't know whether it's the steady vibration from the car, or just the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, ... The Play Room Thu, 25 Mar 2010 07:16:52 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/tough-love-vs-spanking-t16626.htm#189131 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/tough-love-vs-spanking-t16626.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/sta-soft-t16561.htm Ilze
After many tests they discovered the cause...

The wife was washing her husband''s underwear with...Stay Soft!]]> The Play Room Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:57:50 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/sta-soft-t16561.htm#188527 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/sta-soft-t16561.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/koos-t16475.htm Sheena Koos loop in die veld een dag, hy kom op n man wat water uit n poel drink, koos skree "moenie daai water drink nie, daar is k@k in!!" die man se "My name is Julius Malema!!! speak English!!" Koos se "Use both hands!! You get more that way!" The Play Room Fri, 19 Mar 2010 07:37:36 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/koos-t16475.htm#187494 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/koos-t16475.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/caution-t16304.htm TarrynT ]]> The Play Room Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:10:28 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/caution-t16304.htm#185362 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/caution-t16304.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/the-answer-to-life-t15411.htm Honey Bunny ]]> The Play Room Wed, 17 Feb 2010 09:22:42 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/the-answer-to-life-t15411.htm#173948 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/the-answer-to-life-t15411.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/lie-detector-t15425.htm kajol Kyle's dad brought home a robot one day. The robot has the ability to detect lies and would slap the person who lied on the face. Kyle returned late from school and dad asked, "Son why are you late from school?". "Dad, we had extra classes today".The robot slapped Kyle on his face. Dad shouted "Now com'n ell me the truth. Why are you late?" "Dad, I went to a movie" "Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments" Immediately, ... The Play Room Wed, 17 Feb 2010 12:38:48 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/lie-detector-t15425.htm#174190 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/lie-detector-t15425.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/1-don-t-look-at-naked-lady-t15098.htm Bane Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone.
A part of me is getting hard already!]]> The Play Room Tue, 09 Feb 2010 07:53:53 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/1-don-t-look-at-naked-lady-t15098.htm#169384 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/1-don-t-look-at-naked-lady-t15098.htm http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/eve-s-side-of-the-story-t16257.htm Ilze After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. ''So, how is everything going?'' inquired God. ''It is all so beautiful, God,'' she replied. ''The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It''s these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They''re a real pain..'' And ... The Play Room Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:37:47 GMT http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/eve-s-side-of-the-story-t16257.htm#184831 http://www.ourpreciousmoments.org/the-play-room-f21/eve-s-side-of-the-story-t16257.htm