Baby Nicholas is born - my shining light amidst the gloom

Friday 18 December

Today is the day that my baby boy arrives. Not surprisingly, I wake up just after 3:30am but instead of worrying about everything else, I think about the fact that I am meeting my little boy in a few hours. I am truly happy. At 5am, we get up and get ready for the hospital. It is such a different experience to going into labour and Cameron’s birth. The birds are chirping and we take a slow drive to the hospital.

We are on a long list of women giving birth. Dr Haacke has his own patients and is also filling in for another gynae who is on holiday. All in all, there are ten caesars and two inductions scheduled – 12 babies are to be born that day. There is an air of excitement in the maternity ward as 12 anxious moms and dads-to-be settle themselves in their rooms.

We are steered to bed 8A. I hadn’t booked a private room and I was a little concerned about who I might be sharing with. Fortunately, it is a lovely woman having her third son. Her husband has a great sense of humour. I feel relieved.

I am prepped straight away. We are forth on the list but don’t know what time we will go into theatre. I phone my mom to see how Cameron is and to let her know that they needn’t rush down – we’ll phone when baby is born.

I am not expecting what she has to say… Cameron had a terrible fever in the night and was complaining of “sore pipes”. She says she’ll book an appointment with the doctor and let me know as soon as she knew what was wrong with him. I am very upset. Cameron hasn’t been sick for ages. In fact, I cant remember the last time I took him to the doctor with a fever or anything else like that. Isn’t it Murphy’s Law that he’d get sick on the very day that his baby brother is born?

I go through a slump where I am so thirsty and so tired that I don’t know if I’ll make it through the Caesar. I feel completely and utterly drained. I am so happy that I am not giving natural birth – there’s no way I would have made it. I just close my eyes and fall asleep. It couldn’t have been very long but I wake up feeling better. Maybe the drip made me feel better too. I am not sure.

Just after 9am, they wheel me through to the theatre – it was happening… I was going to meet my baby boy. Michael is walking behind the bed as two nurses push me. He has the biggest smile on his face. I will never forget it. He is just looking at me and I am looking at him. We are both smiling. NOTHING ELSE matters at that moment. Not his dad’s paraplegia, not his mom’s cancer, not the business, not Cameron’s fever.

Dr Haacke’s assistant and the anaesthetist speak to us about what is going to happen. Shortly after that we see a baby being wheeled passed, next his mommy… Then it is our turn.

They wheel me into the theatre. There is music playing. Dr Haacke turns to say hello. I can hear the smile in his voice. The spinal is done – far less painful than the epidural was with Cameron. They pinch and prod and ask if my legs have gone numb yet. I cant feel my legs but I can still feel needle-like pricks in my pelvic area. I tell Dr Haacke so. He says, “well I am glad that’s all you can feel because if you knew and could actually feel what I had just done to you, you would be screaming in pain. The spinal is working because you would be feeling much more than that.”

I have to admit that while I did not feel any pain, the strange tugging feeling I could feel was pretty scary. I cant describe how it feels. I guess it’s just how you’d expect to feel if someone was scooping out your insides and digging around in your belly! I was a bit anxious and started to cry – just a little.

Michael is fixated on what Dr Haacke is doing. He musters a “you’re doing well” every now and then. It’s all up the anaesthetist to console me. He is wonderful. He cradles my head in his hands and strokes my hair and tells me bit by bit what I am feeling. It soothes me and makes me feel so much better. So the crying is short-lived.

Within minutes the big tug happens and Nicholas is born. The clock says 09:55am. Dr Haacke exclaims: “he’s no shrimp”, so I know he must be a fair size!

I cant believe it when they say he is out because the big tug felt no bigger than the tugs I had been feeling before that. Then I hear him cry. What a beautiful sound! At that moment I think to myself, how could anyone ever live their life without hearing that sound – a baby’s first cry?

Then they give him to me. I am all strapped up of course so he is placed on my chest – all wrapped up. He feels so warm. I am elated.

Michael leaves with him as he is taken to the ward. I close my eyes while I am stitched up. I feel so relaxed. After that I was wheeled to recovery where a nurse sits with me for half an hour talking to me, asking me questions and taking my blood pressure. All I want to do is sleep until I can go to my new baby and properly see what he looks like. I also want to phone my mom to see if Cameron is ok. It is the longest wait.

As soon as I get back to my room, I phone my mom. Cameron has a throat infection and has been put on antibiotics. The doctor feels confident that it is not contagious and that it is safe for him to visit his new brother. They are on the way!

I finally get to hold my baby properly about half an hour after being wheeled back to my room. My mom, dad and Cameron are already there. He is warm, wrapped up and perfect. I cant stop staring at him. I loved him instantly that I can tell you.

My mom tells me that when they looked into the nursery and she asked Cameron which baby he thought was his brother, he pointed to Nicholas!

There were so many things that distracted me from the pregnancy. It flew by so fast. It was nothing like the arduous waiting I remember of my pregnancy with Cameron. It was like Nicholas had made his way into my life without me really noticing. Now he is here. He is my little boy. He and his brother are everything to me.

As it turned out, Cameron took a turn for the worse despite being on antibiotics and Michael and I took the decision not to let him come back to the hospital in case he passed it onto Nicholas – that’s all we needed. What this meant is that Michael couldn’t languish around at the hospital like he did when Cameron was born. He had our big boy to look after.

On the Monday (21 December) he took Cameron back to the doctor because his fever had rocketed in the night. He was prescribed more antibiotics and had to go back daily for an injection. I came out of hospital that day. I was desperate to see Cameron but we decided that it would be safer to have him stay with my mom until he was better.

It broke my heart to come home and not have him here. I couldn’t believe that he was so sick and I couldn’t even look after him. He had a few more fever spikes which upset me terribly because I wasn’t with him. I also felt awful that my mom was having to deal with it. He came home on 23 December once we were sure he was better. I am enormously happy to have them all home.


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Ahhh, what a beautiful story, so sorry about Cameron being sick but happy he is better now. Enjoy your little boys.

Oh wow Gabby sounds so wonderful. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Sorry that Cameron was so sick, but glad he got better before Christmas!

Thanks girls. Cant wait to read yours bel. Not long now hey

Not long at all. I think? Hope?

Wow what a beautiful birth story!! my eyes welled up with tears numerous times!! So happy u are all together again as a family. xxx

Gabby that is really a very special story. You are amazing and you did so well. Congrats again.
xxxx

Yip, all the above. Your story brought tears to my eyes!!!!!
Congrats!!!
xxx

beautiful story of hope amongst the gloom. It brought tears to my eyes. Especially when u said 'u cant imagine how 1 wud live without hearing the baby's first cry. I bet the feeling is indescribable.

Such a stunning birth story! I can relate to all the waitings in between... I was in hospital for two days before I had Jason and Grant, the longest two days of my life!

Beautiful, I can imagine how it must have felt knowing that your son is ill, but it all worked out in the end