Photo's to my social worker

Hi Michmac, No Please! I really appreciate it to read your situation, because sometimes I feel so guilty to complain, that I start to live my own life, feelings wise, because I sometimes feel so alienated... to be honest, because there is not allot of people getting what we as adopotive parents go through!
At the moment the adoption is frustrating. We have foster parent rights for two years. Nov 9 was the first year, and the new childrens law is written that we are foster parents can apply for adoption at the childrens court withou concent from the BM. Our social worker has advised us in the beginning of the month that it is before dec, holiday bla bla bla, it would be advisable to do it end January when everyone starts again... so we have to wait. We have actually got another visit that the social worker arranged before dec, they want to talk to her and tell her that we are going ahead with the adoption withou her permission, still giving her the choice to sign them off. What worries me, the criminal case is proceeding against her and we were told that if the judge hears the case there is a very good chance she can go to jail.... and I feat it will just prolong things. I wish I have more info, but we are so depended to other people. I am a self do..er, and I wish it is all over... Didi has a very bad reaction with visitations, so it makes me angry to submit her to this each time! But I will keep you posted on the proceedings. We knew from the get go this was going to be hard this way around, but things happen for a reason!
Stay strong! We are women of extraordinary strength! We have to be for our children! Have a great week!

Petru, you really are strong! But the children are a great motivation. I just pray everyhting works out for you and that they will very soon be yours legally and you can stop the visitations. It is so hard to hear how badly they affect the children, and yet they still have to continue!Sometimes I wonder if people really do things in the best interest of the child. I can't see that in this case. sometimes they shoud rather decide according to an individual situation rather than use a blanket ruling.
I also like your little ritual. I suppose it is like discarding the effects of the meeting.
Thinking of you!

Thanks Pandora, I also feel that the child, is not considered. The visit scheduled for next week thursday, when i was phoned, just kept on giving excuses, some valid some not, because I am exhausted, and I sit with a child for three weeks, not eathing, crying, clingy, not sleeping well, she is two and has been going through this, we have strongly complained about this, everyone kept telling us, you are only foster parents, not really any rights, well, we decided, we will not be treated in this manner, at least now they are taking us seriously, but the visit was scheduled, the carrot of the discussion of adotpion was hangend infront of our noses, we gave in.... The children has got no bond, no connection, hannes has seen her twice and he is already 13 months old. She is incapable to look after them, financially, she has no home, no job she keeps for longer than 3 months, she is 18, their biological father died last year, and the abuse was so severe to Didi, that the social worker told us, with their findings and reports, she is emosionally instable and incapable to look after them. So, that is why we can apply for adoption without her concent, and we are going to do this, we were hoping she would come to her senses and signe them off, which would make things a hell of allot easier... but lets see next week, but we are like a steam train, pushing on, slowly but surely!. I just thoroughly enjoyed MichMac's post, it is good to talk about how you feel, and she did it, and I feel a bit at home here, and not so much alienated, people well my experience in the two years, with their own children, just dont get this proses, and it is difficult to talk as one sounds as if you are complaining. Have a great week!

Well done michmac!! I know its hard. I also have a biological mother way in the background and unless you in the same position, one can never truly understand. I was so bad that I used to send her distant, or not the best photos)!!! Horrible i know! But with time things change!!

You love and hate them!!!! I love mine because of the amazing amazing gift she has given me that changed my life forever! But I also hate her for going through the pregnancy and birth process of my beatiful baby. An experience that I can never have! And I love my baby girl so so much that I want her to be 100% mine, in blood as well!!

Adoption is a very hard process and still hard even once we get our bundles of joy!! Ive had to really soul search and accept a lot of things about myself in this journey that I wasnt really wanting to deal with!! Dont ever feel bad about your feelings! Just go with them, there is no right or wrong!!

And Im sure, like me- having your little one in your life everyday makes any negative totally worth it!
Hang in there.

xxx