Moms with same gender twins

Do you ever worry about one twin being better looking than the other?

I went to school with twins where the one sister was a model big green eyes and tiny. Her sister was big boned and ordinary. I also met brothers at a friends house where the good looking one was so confident and apparently had girls all over him while his twin was not as good looking and subsequently not confindent and a little intense.

I am trying to workout how to not let it get to them. So far I can just think of differnt schools so less people can compare.

Kerry, I think that if you build enough confidence in them and their individuality that they will be fine... I dont' think it's just twins - I think it even happens with siblings... Like I was always the skinny one that made sure I looked good and went to gym etc and my sister was always the "bigger" one who did well at school and wore board shorts and slops and even though we're 5 years apart, people would still say "this is the skinny sister and thats the clever one"

I agree with what Haze said, and I wont put them in seperate schools

Ja definitely also with sibs BUT I think with twins being around each other the whole time the contrast is a LOT more obvious. My twins look completely different, Olivia is the model blonde baby with the hazel eyes and everyone notices her first, but then they see Rachel extremely fine boned features and masses of curls so I (hope) think they will be OK. I have to admit, Rachel was not a very pretty baby so I was worried about this but luckily she has developed into a pretty little girl! I don't even want them in different classes though, never mind different schools.

personally I think that its the case with all sibs, in our family I am the odd one out! I am the tallest of us 3 sisters, I have bigger bone structure than my sisters! My oldest sister is in her late 30's both her kids in high school and she is a natural size 6.. so ya most of the time my oldest sister is referred to as the tiny one, my other sister is also small built.. wondering if I am even related to them! My sisters can mingle and will be in the centre because they are confident - where I will draw back and come forth as shy because I feel out of place in their company.

Although mine are not the same sex I worry about one child being very bright and the other average. When my twins go to school (if it is co-ed) I will definitely insist that they are not in the same class so that they cannot be compared.

Kerry - Im so glad you were brave enough to bring it up - it worries me all the time. Noah is postcard pretty and Finn is Dennis the Mennis boyish - hardly any hair and a little red birthmark on his forehead. But Finn has the most BEAUTIFL toothy smile that lights his face up like a sun beam - so I try and console myself with that. Thing is its awful to feel like one is prettier when you are the MOTHER! If I think that what are other people going to think?

Joleen - same thoughts as you re. my pigeon pair. What if one is brighter than the other? My two are so different. Grace is a real social butterfly, charms everyone and always smiling. Will go to everybody and anybody. People tend to gravitate towards her naturally Michael is more cautious and much more clingy. You have to really take time to befriend him before he will go to you. But he is definitely intellectually ahead of Grace at the moment.

That is it, there are so many ways to compare twins how do you make them confident enough to withstand it.

Lilly I know what you mean my sisters and I funnilly enough look very similar but still my youngest sis is what people described as gorgeous. big blue eyes pale skin and dark hair. Oh and to top it off unbeilveably bright.

I think we were proud of her and that helped us not feel like the ugly ducklings.

It was just after meeting the twin brothers where the parents did obviously not do enough to support the one. I was wondering. I am also thinking of letting them each choose one sport that is theirs (they can share the more common sports) and one interest each that is thiers. To help them be able to be the best in the family at one thing each.

But then is it fair to the other one to not let him try that thing too??

For school I will see how they develop as to whether one class or two or two schools. I suppose like Wendy put it they each have thier strengths and it is important as a parent to make them realise that their strengths are equally important. Without labeling one as bright and the other as fun.

Kerry, as they grow they will stand out each in their own way - one might be good in academics but not so much in sport or maybe both and the other way with other one, I think that you should encourage them to do sports and other activities and see where their talents lie! praise them equally, if the one excels in sport and the other doesnt, help him to find something he is just as good at. I believe that kids should be equal, do the same for both boys if you catch my drift, in doing that the one wont feel that the other one is more liked etc. might be a stupid example but we never put a birth announcement in the local paper when D was born so I decided to not put one in the paper when W was born, because one day they'll be able to understand and I dont want D to have issues about it. My sisters kids are a good example: the one is great in sports the other one not, they give credit where its due but not over the top.

Hi, same for me...... i try to praise each one in the things that they do well... Kiana loves to "do things" for you and she is very serous about things... and Danica likes to be a comedian and entertain, so i give credit where its due, i must say alot rubs off on each other . And i also believe to treat them as individuals and have each one develop his/her strong points! each one is unique!

Very difficult question, kerry!

That's why I want mine in different classes. But the good-looking factor? No idea - they are siblings, just born at the same time so I would treat it as "normal' kids - build their self-confidence, praise specifically (you're so helpful - thank you for packing your blocks away) and so on..

And then pray and hope for the best.

I instead want them to be in the same class.

Well mine looks very alike, here and there a few things that is different so I think look wise they will both be pretty but Montinique is a witty girl and very fast learner where Montine is a bit of a dreamer, laid back girl but because her sister is so neat and do things she will do the same.

I also worry about it but know they will be fine as their personalities are so different but they are so close to each other and really can't function if the other one is not near - they call each other and always do things together, sit next to each other, be naughty together

I have wondered that myself often, and not only about twins but plain siblings of the same gender.

I am not sure seperating them is the way to go but instil in them they are individuals and are allowed to embrace their differences.

Mine don't play with each other at all at school, BUT they notice the minute one is not there and then they scream blue murder till the sister comes back. So completely their own people but the bond is very strong.