Who assists youwith your twins?

Hi All

I am interested as to how you all cope with your twins? Does DH assist, do you have hired help or do you do it on your own?

The twins came home on Friday and it was a bit nerve wrecking. I have a live in nanny but will have to give her time off at some stage so am interested to know how you all cope especially if you are home alone.

Hey Joleen, so happy to hear that Little Erin & Wade are home where they belong!! when are you planning on giving her time off?, maybe a close friend could a hand, but I'll say give it time until the twins are in some form of routine or at least settled in. Good Luck! xx

Hi! Congrats on having the babies home.
I have a nanny looking after them in the day, but in the afternoon and at night they are all mine. My husband helps if he is at home at bathtime, otherwise I manage by myself - just takes a bit of planning! I am also the only one who look after them at night, my husband is selectively deaf! I looked after them by myself during my ML, I just wanted them to myself as much as possible. When I have to put them to bed by myself, it inevitable leads to one of them having to take her bottle in the cot, I find that preferable to her screaming her head of while I feed hte other one. In the day I feed one slightly before the other, and when we have solids I do both together. You'll see, one just deals with it if you have too. Good luck, the first bit is very hectic, but it will settle down around 3 to 4 months.

Hi Joleen

That is wonderful news to hear that they are home!!! How are you coping?

I look after them myself, during the day and night. Can't really say Hubby is much help because he don't want to help or look after them so I am stuck to do it on my own.

They are 4 months old now and it is only feeling if they are settling down now but now they are more awake so you have to give them more of your time.

Good luck hun and you will see that as time goes by you will manage them alone and don't feel so tense around them!!

Love

I also manage mostly on my own. It is only at night, if both of them wakes up at the same time, i will wake hubby up to help. You eventually get used to it, but i should warn you, it is tiring,

I have a nanny who goes on leave every second weekend, then i am on my own for that weekend, DH helps if he is around. Night shift its me and myself, but its only 20 minutes and the twins don't wake up at the same time, when they were younger DH used to help at night, they don't wake up that often anymore.

Hi Joleen,

My twins came home at different times - Michael after a week and Grace after 3 weeks. So although not ideal at the time - it did give me a chance to get into a routine with the one before the other came home to join her brother. Up until now I have looked after them mostly on my own - with a bit of help from my husband with the feeds when he is around (although I must stress this did not apply to night feeds as he blissfully sleeps through any howling during the night!) I was so nervous as to how I would manage and we kept saying that we would get a night nurse as a treat sometime but we just never did!

For me routine is very important - and they came home from hospital in a great routine of feeding every 3 hours which I continued. I would wake 1 baby and feed it and then the next one. If they both woke up screaming for food I would put one on my lap and the other in the car seat and feed both at the same time! (I used formula and expressed breast milk - never mastered having both on the boob at the same time!) For the night feeds I would prepare feeds in advance and put in the fridge. I have always said - I want to control them - I don't want them to control me!

They are now nearly 4 months and I find have definite waking and sleeping times. What is great is now the evenings are our own and they go down nicely wen we put them in their cots.

I am going back to work in 2 months time so have a nanny starting at the beginning of August. That will give me time to train her up and also give me a bit of a break which I feel I deserve!

Hi

I have been lucky my DH was on leave and helped me day and night. but after a month with v little sleep we got a night nurse to help cause with reflux and bad colic our one baby slept maybe 4 hours a night in half hour stretches and was worse during the day. now that DH is back at work we have a nanny 5 day aweek to help me because they always want feeds at the same time and scream if i try hold them together. now that we are on nasty colic medicine K is getting the hang of sleeping at night but not during the day yet. I don't how the poor nanny will cope with both when I have to go back to work as they both need a lot of soothing.

Kerry

Hi there,

I had my husband helping tremendously for the first three weeks. The bathing and feeding was a logistical nightmare until we mastered it. My mom then come to stay last sunday (temporarily until I go back to work) when my hubby went back to work. I can manage them on my own but feeding is a bit tricky.

I need another pair of hands to pass baby to me. I prefer to have one baby at the breast to give them their own time and just cuddle and skin to skin on the breast however when the wake the same time, I feed both on the breast simulateously. Because we have the 2,5 year old toddler, night time bath is very difficult so my mom, hubby and I take turns. Two bath the twins and the other bath the toddler. I do morning baths with the twins myself and my mom feeds formular (introduced one formula feed at 12:00 couple of days ago) to the one while I feed the other.

When I go back to work, my mom will wing it on her own at house (6km's from me) with my angels. By then we hope to have an established routine. My toddler will begin school beginning September so that free's my mom up. What would I do without my mum ??

At night, I feed while hubby changes the the other and winds the baby that just came off. Planning is key. I wake them every three hours for a feed irrespective if they're napping at their best - much to my mom's dismay. But it works for me!

Nita

thanks all for your advice. It is exhausting at the moment and my nanny is waking up to help with the feeds as we do this simultanously. She wants to go home every second weekend which will be fine with me once they are a few weeks older and I am used to them and they to me. It is all very new to me and I panic when both cry at the same time.

Its just hectic as Wade has stomach cramps at the moment and is struggling to go to sleep. Erin is a dream baby and once she is fed its literally good night for 4 hours. Wade takes 2 hours to settle. I spoke to my paed this morning and she prescribed meds for tummy aches. I have used Telament drops, massaging him and even took him to the chiro yesterday. Lack of sleep is killing me. I dont mind the broken sleep but as long as they go down together.

This weekend with the nanny going home I am going to a friend cause I am not ready to try on my own yet. Tomorrow is a week since they have been home.

Shame Joleen

It's terrible when they get stomach cramps and cry and cry. Our little boy had colic from about 4 weeks onwards and would scream from 6pm - 9pm. I didn't find any colic drops worked for him but took him to the chiropracter and after 4 sessions the colic stopped just like that - it was SUCH a relief! The first few months are a bit hectic I won't lie to you - especially the nights - but it does get better. Try and get them into a routine as early as possible. My babies are now 16 weeks (they were 6 weeks prem) and I would say definitely the last month has been a LOT easier. The big thing is not to panic when they cry. I would try and emotionally turn off - otherwise you just end up getting upset yourself. Especially when you are tired - the smallest things upset you! By the way - I find a good way to settle my little boy - who tends to get into screaming fits - is to tightly swaddle him and put a dummy in his mouth. This settles him right down. I do theis even now he is bigger and it definitey works.

I agree with Wendy, I also had to learn to "Switch off" when both cry at the same time, the fact is you only have 2 hands. Mine are 6 months now, happy healthy, sleeping through and eating well. It does get better and better! Good luck.

PS I also even now swaddle Rachel when she gets very upset, always helps!

thanks all - Wade and Erin have both been to the chiropractor and Wade is going again this Wednesday.

I must try the swaddleling because mine is now on the fight against sleep mode.

Joleen it really helps just to switch off when they are screeming and try to get them calm, beleive me with 2 colic babies you need to do that becasue I will go mad, luckily that is something in the past now!!

How are you doing and feeling Joleen?

.....and if all else fails - put them in their car seats and go for a drive! I did that the other night when michael was throwing a tantrum and within 10 minutes - voila - a sleeping baby!