Emotionally healthy twins

Its a book I recently bought on how to raise twins to be independant emotionally healty people, written by a lady who is part of twins herself. It is all about how to stimulate their individuality and make them be separate people in adition to being one of twins. I find it very interesting and although a little extreme (she wants to ALWAYS dress them differently, in separate room ect), I do some ideas very good. For instance, she suggests having separate photo albums for each child, in addition to a fmaily album, having individual photos up ect. I imagine it is easier to lump same-sex twins together, but I think it can get tricky with pigeon pairs as well, especially trying to praise one whilst not letting the other feel over shadowed ect.

She also adocates completely different names for each twin. Now mine are different but I know many of our twins do actually have similar names - how do you feel about that? I am told that it can also be a cultural thing?

Anyway, it is worth the read, I think sometimes we don't even realise what we do have an enormous impact on our kids' preception of themselves.

Interesting! I think it should be worth a read. There is not much advice on how to raise twins and each one of our situations are unique ie. identical, non - identical, pigeon pair. Most books are based on singletons.

I think finding the balance can be difficult. I had a photo shoot done two weeks ago and insisted on photos of them together, alone and with me with each of them and me with them together to try and show them that yes they are twins but that I still view them individually.

Each day although I know how difficult it is and still going to get, I must say that I am grateful I have twins.

That sounds interesting Paula. The only "twin" book I've read so far is the Gina Ford one - and that's mostly about routines (and is VERY extreme!!). I think it will be interesting to see how their personalities develop as they get a bit older and start to interact more with each other. Eg - Michael and Grace are very different both in personality and in appearance. I must say - everyone else refers to them as "The Twins" ie "How are The Twins" - whereas I tend to refer to them as "My babies"!

I often find it hard to think of my boys as twins because they look and behave so differently. I also read somewhere that it is important for them to be individuals. Particularly at school they should be in different classes so they can learn to make thier own friends and cope with thier own work. I must admit with Kian being so demanding I do let Connor play happliy on his own more than I would like.

That sounds interesting. About the name - Mine is very close to each other becasue I think in the long run that will be the thing that connect them, even though they look the same they have different personalities and I have to provide for each of their needs. I thing Montiné will be happy with a colouring book and crayons but Montinique would like to be entertain.

I read in the Huisgenoot about 2 weeks ago that Nianell is only going now at 2 years dress them differently and she talk about them individually and not at the triplets.

If I talk the people about them I refer to them and my children or my girls or my babies and not the twins. Most of my photo is on them alone and then once in a while of them together and if I take a photo of the one I try to take one of the other one also. I have a scrapbook for each of them (just need to get updated a bit) but I use the same paper and try to keep the book at the same layout - I don't want them to tell me one day that the one's book is nicer that the other one. I put all the special photos of each of them in their and have a seperate album were I will put the normal photo's in. I have so many photos but decide I am only going to take the best once and develop it and the rest put in a cd.

What do you guys do about the photo's?

I only have "family" albums at present, and scrapbooks with all their things in, but they are more for me! I think I will start making them their own ones though. We also hvae hundreds of photos but I only print the really nice ones.

We tend to refer to them as the girls, and surprisingly, my dad actually insists on calling them by their names every time.

Mine are only dressed the same very seldomly, only when I want to be particulrly cute, and when thay are 2 or so, I will buy them their own clothes and separate their closets.

Kerry I tend to find myself with Rachel on my lap much more often than Olivia, Livvi is also an easier child. Perhaps we should pair up Rachel and Kain, and Olivia and Conner!

Well, we named our twins with similar names, there was no particular reason we just thought its nice, but in hindsight i would name them differently, i think their individuality is important and their names should reflect that, I have given them nicknames to try to compensate. As to raising them to be emotionally intelligent, i am not sure if you can ever get that perfectly, i find that i am learning so much with each child i have, hopefully i am doing better than my parents and they will do better than me. P, what is the title and author of this book ?,

Lipa the title is "Emotionally healty twins" and the author is Joan A Friedman. I ordered it from Kalahari.net.

Do you have a baby journal were you note all their things in?

Mine will just have to share a room till they are bigger and not want to share anymore - dad must first move his office before their is a seperate room for one of them and they have a flippen big room now so they can't complain.

I thing I am going to order one for me!!

SAMBA interviewed the author in its latest,"Multiple Magic" which I read last night. Everyone also refers to mine as the twins. In the beginning I did "favour" Erin more than Wade perhaps as I could not pick her up for the first few days being in NICU. Wade got more attention in the first few days. Erin is the easier baby but everyone wants to pick up Wade. Which he loves. I try and give them equal time and believe that there are times for them being together and apart. I think moms of pigeon pairs have it easier cause immediately boys and girls are different from a physical as well as a behavourial point of view. I have pics together and individually. I also have two baby books which are identical so that one day when they are big can have their own books. I also have seperate memory boxes for each.

I have separate baby books too.
Joleen it is because of that interview that I ordered the book!

Hi Paulae

I tried to order the book via Kalahari and they tell me that none of their registered suppliers have stock. When did you order your copy?

Joleen, about 2 weeks ago, it arrived just this week (Monday).
Perhaps exclusive books have it, or loot.co.za?

I tried Exclusive Books but it is not on their stock list.

Thanks Paulae - I managed to order a copy via Loots