Question for all the twin mommies

I have this friend, 11weeks pregnant with twins. The thing is, her due date is end March, she is convinced that the babies will come 2weeks before her due date, so they are going to wait until Dec/Jan before they start with the nursery. She plans on taking 2 months ML after the birth(self employed). I am not sure how to tell her that she should be open for all possibilities?

Hi Lilly
Have her read all our stories, so she can get some perspective! Yes many women last till the end, but sometimes - often they come early and then you have the whole NICu thing as well.

I told her that she should make double sure about medical aid funds available, ask other twin moms, a mutual friend of ours ended up with a crap load of debt, her LG had to stay 4 days in a public hospital - medical aid ran out of funds. while the LB got discharged - they were born just after 33w and had 4 week stay in NICU. its like she refuses to believe that there is a chance, she is planning on attending her sisters wedding in April! She is in for one hell of a shock!

Explain to her that they get very heavy long before the due date as twins grow faster initially and so often you end up on bed rest and it makes it difficult to do things. I borrowed a wheelchair to attend a wedding close to my due date.

How tall is she? the only people I know who have carried close to thier 38week c section were tall (with wide hips) they can handle the sixe of 2 developing babies. Also tell her the people i know with twins myself included felt perfectly fine till 28/29 weeks then all fell apart, so she cannot base her plans on how she feels now. but I think December sounds like a good time to do the nursery while she is on holiday. cause after Dec she must be prepared to rest if needed. I did work on a laptop lying down in bed and it was uncomfortable cause I could not sit up too long or the presure on my cervix became too much.

Also tell her that each day they stay in her womb counts for 2 days in NICU so everyday longer is important. But she must pack her hospital bag by 29 weeks cause she could also be admitted to the labour ward for a few weeks too.

Also get her prepared for how much help she will need. With 2 small babies night feeds take up most of the night and there is little sleep initially. My boys are demanding and one nanny is often not enough they need 2 people looking after them most of the time.

the maximum they allow you to carry for is 38 weeks, as many of the other twin mommies know from 30 weeks you tend to be on high alert as anything can happen. I was fortunate that I carried till 37 weeks. Also she needs to understand and prepare herself is that her babies can end up staying in hospital after her release. I thought oh my babies will come home with me and no, was I in for a big surprise. I started getting all my stuff ready from 20 weeks and by 30 weeks my suitcase was packed and I had everything.

Can definitely affirm what the others said. I was mentally prepared for NICU (thanks to Paula!) and a prem birth so when it actually happened to me I coped quite well with it. We started doing the nursery and buying all the big stuff at about 24 weeks. From 29 weeks onwards is when the wheels can start to come off ( I was OK till about 31 weeks) and you get really uncomfortable. For my last 2 weeks I just "existed" and wallowed in the swimming pool! I have huge admiration for ladies who do carry twins to 37 / 38 weeks. I certainly couldn't imagine doing it!

Lilly she need to understand that with twins you can't plan anything for 30 weeks becasue anything can happen. My gynea told me that from 28 weeks I am only allowed to go out of town and not furtheer than Johannesburg because anything can happen and you don't want you babies in a hospital miles away from home. Like Joleen say even though she walk till 38 weeks her babies can still go to NICU so you need to be prepared.

The nursery is fine to start in Dec but I think she will be so tired and not in the mood to do anything. It was so hot last december and I think this december it will be the same and I could remember that going to the shop was tiring not even to talk about getting everything ready for the nursery