From my point of view...

It seems to me as if most husbands does not want to talk abut their experiences regarding TTC, MC etc. There may be lots of reasons for that, most probable something imbedded in their upbringing. "Boys don't cry."

I was like that also. Men just don't talk about their emotions. But after much encouragement, I started to open up just a little bit. Being able to talk about it somehow eases the pain. So before I continue first a big thank you to all on this forum for helping each other. Just by listening and praying you all mean a lot.

When we got married, I definately was'nt ready for kids. Why is a different story. In any case, when Bella first told me that she was pregnant it was kind of a scary thing to get used to. A part of me wanted children, but the other part did not. Then came the first visit and the bad news - blighted ovum. I suddenly realised what I had lost.

Some people say that a life first starts with the actual birth. I believe that life starts with conception. So suddenly it came to my that my child was dead.

Other people's reactions were something like: Sorry to hear that, now get on with your life.

Easy for them to say.

All I wanted to thing of was our loss. Even now I look at children aged 5, 6 and think that my baby must have been that age now.

Female friends reacted with some compassion towards Bella, but men have this macho thing that nothing bothers them. Because of them I was thinking that something must be wrong with me. Why did I have this feelings of loss and hurt and everybody just kept going with their lives.

Today I realise that I'm not a freak. I'm not skeef or a softie or whatever. I'm just a normal person with feelings. All men have feelings. To get them to talk about it is a bit difficult.

So why do I write this?
I know that men can't have a full understanding of how much it hurts a woman when she loses her baby, or when she tries to conceive, but nothing happens. Or whatever. You know what I mean. But what I do know is that us men do understand part of it. Sometimes their are not words to describe what I feel, but in the coming days I will try to give you some inside info into a man's feelings. Maybe if I gan write about my feelings, you will be able to understand your DHs better. And maybe, just maybe, some other men will join.

Now I must get ready for work, so have a nice day and my God bless you all.

Hi Adoons

Hope you dont mind me jumping in here!

Your story has really touched me! Yes, a lot of woman do think that there husbands dont understand this journey, but perhaps its as you said,and they have to put on a brave face and just carry on as normal.

You are definately not a freak, and I salute you for being the first man in this forum!!!

Dont stop writing your feelings down. It's a wonderful way to let all those emotions out!

God Bless

Wow, now I want to cry!

Me too.

Thanks now I know how my DH feels.

Thanks so much for sharing!

Danni wrote:Thanks so much for sharing!

Will print it for my DH!!!

Thanx. This is an eye-opener.

This is so wonderful, my DH has registered but has not yet logged onto the site, I will surely show him this. I salute you too. I think a lot of the woman on this forum would appreciate a man's point of view because there are certain things they just do not speak about.

I was away for a week or so and never imagined that my post would have attracted so much response. Thank you all. This surely is a motivation to share more.

Yup, it is incredible! I really wish more men would join, so that you can have someone to talk to!

Twinkles, when is your DH going to post here?

PS. Adoons, I love your avatar!!!!

Hi Eve

He was on the forum yesterday and read the posts, he says he will be going on today at work, I tried to get him to go on last night on his cellphone but he prefers doing it from his computer.

Thanks Adoons you are a Brave man.

Hi Adoons thank you for your post. It is really don't know how to handle my DH. I can see he is hurting but I don't know what to do or say. But when he talk about the last baby we lost the both of us can't stop crying. So it is really difficult.